More Christmas Stuff

So I just got back from the 5:30 PM Christmas Eve Mass (Catholic family still goes faithfully to church) and I have since dubbed this particular service The Brat Mass. Why do I say this? Every person who normally doesn't attend Mass on a regular basis, myself included, crowds into a relatively small church, barely taking note of this thing called Personal Space, and attempts to look somber and serene while everyone's small children shriek and whine. Bare in mind that most of these children have not seen a church and are probably hopped up on sugar thanks to the Christmas cookies they've been shoving in their snot-nosed faces.

Yes, I do not like children and possess the nurturing skills of a burying beetle (they eat their young. Read about it: http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2009/05/photogalleries/mothers-day-worst-animal-moms-pictures/#/carrion-beetle_4335_600x450.jpg).

I just don't understand these happy couples who insist on reproducing and having these little brats and then moon all over them because "Billy has his mother's eyes and his father's chin," or some other tripe. You sacrifice everything for this spitty, snotty, sticky flesh-hound (seriously, touch a toddler. I don't know what they are covered in, but it is always sticky and vile) who is loud, obnoxious, abrasive, and throws things. Honestly, one might as well own a pet monkey.

Why have kids when you can have Manolo Blahniks? All of your dreams and goals go out the window when there's a child added to your responsibility. Just saying.

XOXO
~M

PS - Babies...just suck. In general. That is all.

Lucky Enough

Every woman, including myself, is lucky in her own special way. That is probably the corniest thing I have ever written but regardless, I'm going to go with it.

Since December hit us all, and the wind made me momentarily forget I have a face, I've been spending quite some time mulling over what all I have had in the past that I find to be shining moments of beauty. Every woman in the 21st century should consider herself lucky if:

1. She has had roses delivered to her door. My specific incident occurred on Christmas Eve, the day after I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I remember reading The Other Boleyn Girl and sipping on an orange sherbet smoothie when they arrived. A dozen white roses, some red carnations, and the ever present baby's breath, accompanied with a card from the man who purchased them. He was of few words but still, the gesture was sweet, if overwhelming. Or maybe that was the Vicodin...we'll never know.
2. She has ever been kissed on the forehead. I don't know, there's something so damn sweet about this small gesture. It's small but always speaks volumes and it makes a woman swoon.
   
3. She's ever been asked to simply listen. We are guarded individuals and if anyone, friend, lover, relative, asks you to just sit and listen to them, you have been given a special honor. They trust you enough to hear their fears, their desires, and to really see underneath the wall.
4. She's ever laughed with her friends, male or female, until she cried. No one looks good laughing, especially the kind of laughter that when you're done, you feel like you've had an incredible workout. After someone sees you in that state and still calls you their friend, you've got a winner.
5. She's ever had French nonsense (say, "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away"?) whispered in her ear. Hand it to the French for having the sexiest language EVER.
6. She hears the words, "I love you," not after something sweet and romantic but silly and ridiculous. Call me a sentimentalist, but I'd much rather hear those words after falling off a trampoline or something. That's real, not a candlelit dinner or something equally cliched.

I have counted my blessings and certainly there are many more but I do not think it is necessary to share them all. Enjoy the eggnog, the TSO and other carols, the Christmas specials (except Frosty the Snowman - that creature deserves everything he gets. Stealing hats is unacceptable behavior), the gifts, and most importantly the people you share them with. You never know how long you have with them.

XOXO
~M