So I just got back from the 5:30 PM Christmas Eve Mass (Catholic family still goes faithfully to church) and I have since dubbed this particular service The Brat Mass. Why do I say this? Every person who normally doesn't attend Mass on a regular basis, myself included, crowds into a relatively small church, barely taking note of this thing called Personal Space, and attempts to look somber and serene while everyone's small children shriek and whine. Bare in mind that most of these children have not seen a church and are probably hopped up on sugar thanks to the Christmas cookies they've been shoving in their snot-nosed faces.
Yes, I do not like children and possess the nurturing skills of a burying beetle (they eat their young. Read about it: http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2009/05/photogalleries/mothers-day-worst-animal-moms-pictures/#/carrion-beetle_4335_600x450.jpg).
I just don't understand these happy couples who insist on reproducing and having these little brats and then moon all over them because "Billy has his mother's eyes and his father's chin," or some other tripe. You sacrifice everything for this spitty, snotty, sticky flesh-hound (seriously, touch a toddler. I don't know what they are covered in, but it is always sticky and vile) who is loud, obnoxious, abrasive, and throws things. Honestly, one might as well own a pet monkey.
Why have kids when you can have Manolo Blahniks? All of your dreams and goals go out the window when there's a child added to your responsibility. Just saying.
XOXO
~M
PS - Babies...just suck. In general. That is all.
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