'Tis the Season

To get just a little ridiculous. With the chilly weather, the snow, and the darkness coming at 5 PM, there can only mean one thing: Christmas is coming. That means that couples everywhere are snuggling up to each other, packing on a slight pudge of hibernation weight because who are they out to impress? More importantly, they are more than likely stressing as to what to get their significant other.

There's a fool-proof way to do this, ladies and gentlemen. Be blunt about what you want.

Us girls have a pretty bad habit of trying to make men have some sense of divine intuition and magically know what we want for Christmas. News flash: they don't have a clue. If you don't tell him, he'll go to the nearest Bath and Body Works and get the Estrogen Hat Trick: lotion, spray, and a candle all in the same signature scent placed strategically in a basket wrapped up and tied in a bow. Nice? Yes. Tacky and thoughtless? Only if you weren't straight with him.

Don't ever say you want jewelry because that is simply pretentious and rude, no matter how true it is. The only women who get jewelry at Christmas are the ones that are either on the verge of getting married or already are and their husband has a pretty steady income to afford a diamond pendant.

Gauge where you are in the relationship first. Less than a year, get each other something thoughtful but not break-your-bank expensive. If the man had a small childhood passion for Legos, buy him a new set; he'll be entertained for hours. If the lady in question has a love of classic literature, buy her a copy of War and Peace; she will be too busy navigating Tolstoy's masterpiece to notice that it's January and you still haven't packed away the Christmas crap. Thoughtful, meaningful, inexpensive is the way to go and yes, it is a fine line. Too extravagant and it turns the gift into an uncomfortable awareness of how much less you spent. Too plain, dull, or cheap-looking and you're reminded of how little time they spent on it.

I say, the sillier the better. Personally, if a paramour wanted to make me the happiest person alive during the Christmas season, we'd spend the morning sipping mimosas, then he'd take me to a karaoke bar and we'd do a duet to "The Dirty Glass," exchange warm gifts of whatever (in my case, a really good, really long book), and call it a day.

We've blown this holiday so out of proportion but I'm going to refrain from preaching about how this holiday is about appreciating what you have and all. It's true, though. If the man you're with can tolerate the seven pounds you are statistically likely to gain over the holidays, count your blessings because he'll be a keeper for life.

XOXO
~M