Random Stupid Survey

You know, because I'm not judging anyone right now haha.

Do you mind explaining things to children? I mean I don't like children at all.

How many times a day do you go to the bathroom? I don't count. That's weird.

Can you neatly write with your opposite hand? Not at all.

Do you prefer chicken, beef, pork, or tofu? Chicken.

What are you doing besides this survey? watching Futurama, talking to people.

Do you have a clock in the room you are sitting in right now? yes

If you were a cow, would you sleep standing up, or lying down? Standing up

If you could go outta town right now where would you be going? Ireland

What is your favorite video game? God of War. Seriously, it's simple, it's bloody, it's violent, it's fantastic!

When did you cry last? approximately two weeks ago, when I got that horrible phone call.

Have you ever played the game MASH? It's only the funnest game ever.

You're gonna get a piercing, where is it? I've got 5. I think I'm good.

How do you feel about your first true love? Oh, high school haha

When you were little, were you totally into Barney? I might have been, but now I'm totally into Barney Stinson.

Do you play games on your cell phone? Nope

Are you an aunt/uncle? Nope!

If you could change one thing about your looks, what would it be? I mean, really?

What kind of magnets are on your fridge? No idea. I don't pay attention.

Who was the last person you had a serious talk with? My little sister

Who do you call when you need comfort? Mom

What movie do you want to see? Jackass 3D

When is the last time you did a puzzle? a week ago

What songs would you put on a cd if you were about to burn one? I have an iPod, in which I make playlists

When did you last go to the gym? At-home yoga

What cable company do you have? NTC

Have you ever played Monopoly, and won? Fuck Monopoly.

How easily do you apologize? I acknowledge mistakes I honestly make but otherwise, no. I will not apologize for certain actions that I take. Deal with it.

Have you taken any medicine lately? Just pain meds

Hottest thing you see right now? My Boondock Saints poster

Does everything happen for a reason? Certainly

What is your favorite online game? ROBOT UNICORN ATTACK

Favorite TV channel? online

Last place you got a hair cut? some place in the mall

Last person you made a bet with? Two really close friends. I might lose this one lol.

Stayed in a hotel lately? in Maryland

What is something you are scared to do? talk to this one person

Who is the last person you talked to on the phone? Mom

Do you have four generations still living in the family? no

Best rib place you've eaten at? this one place in Texas

What is one of your family traditions? watching LOTR over Christmas

Is there anything you always do before you go to bed? read

What goes best with soda? more diet dr pepper

How many lights are on in your house? too many

Wanna get anything off your chest? fuck bitches get money?

What is something you did today? I was given a new nickname that I'm not sure I enjoy but is still very funny.

The Judgment Hour, Part I

One of my worst traits, aside from biting my nails and worrying about things way too much, is that I can be incredibly judgmental. I'll admit I've been working on it, sort of. You see, there are certain phenomenons that occur in nature that truly astound me.

The Whipped Man

Ladies, what in the world are we doing? I thought we were supposed to be attracted to manly men. You know, the alpha male, Type A personality, independent kind of guy. Why is it that we as women obsess over these guys and then when we finally have the luxury to become a part of their lives romantically, we somehow manage to bend them over backwards so that they'll do practically whatever we say? Is the promise of sex a factor? I highly doubt that, simply because not all relationships have sex as a factor, therefore making sex an obsolete bargaining chip. So what then causes a man to forgo drinks with his bros for a night of foot massages, candles, Enya, and a crying woman? I guess I'll never know.

Does anyone else find this phenomenon to be truly awful? There's a difference between being romantic and being whipped. A romantic offers to help, offers to pay for dinner, surprises you, etc. A whipped man starts out as a romantic but over time, he is simply thrust into situations he probably, or definitely, doesn't want to be in, simply because he fears the wrath of his girlfriend, who has been overexposed to his romance, with the inevitable consequence being he has to go another night with blue balls.

As a woman, I don't get it, so that's saying something. Every time I see a man walking a teeny tiny dog or holding a purse, I want to puke. We are in the 21st century, girls; we should be able to do this shit ourselves and still have the time to continue to be fabulous. We don't need a man to do these things. At all. There's nothing attractive about a man without a spine. They make easy targets for homewreckers: they're more than likely not happy in the relationship but lack the balls to end it. Ergo, they probably cheat with an exceptionally talented manipulator, and it all spirals out of control. Stop whipping men and take care of your own problems. Yes, the toilet is still a foreign concept for me (I can't fix it because in my world, it simply flushes and nothing bad happens) but there's Google to take care of a simple DIY.

I don't expect a man to be in my life constantly. Sure, he should get to know my friends, simply because I want to get to know his friends so that we can be comfortable with both groups. I have my own life and he has his (hopefully) and both require a lot of attention. I'd like for him to want to be a part of my life and I'd like to be a part of his, but just a part. Not the whole sha-BANG. In some cases, I have shared a lot of common interests and activities with former paramours, so it seemed as though we were together all the time. Nowadays, I'm pretty sure I'd want to go at glacial speed in allowing someone else to enter my life because he's got to be worth it and all that shit.

But I digress.

Moral of the story: being whipped is bad. Get out while you still can. Whipping men (figuratively and only if you're into that) is just off-putting. Very off-putting.

~M

Random List Time

Twenty-five's a good number. We'll go with that. Random facts, goals, habits, worldly bits of wisdom, and in general nonsensical whims from this kid.

1. To begin, I've learned the perks of being single. Check it: I can go where I want, do what I want, watch Sex and the City and read Cosmopolitan whenever I want, have my room be a complete disaster and not care, not have to argue that the performance by Nicholas Cage in the movie The Rock is any better than any of the other shit he's produced (seriously, the movie should have been Sean Connery being his badass self, no one else needs to help), sing 80's music in my car as loud as I want, and of course eat peanut butter M&M's without being judged.

2. I may say "If you want something, go get it" but lately there's been one thing that I cannot seem to just bite the bullet and go chase. I think about it and people tell me to just go for it but I get really nervous and freeze up.

3. No matter where I go, I want to be near a place that has a giant trampoline.

4. The more fantastical a horror story is, the stupider it is. In all the things in the world, there is nothing more terrifying than the depths of human evil.

5. Before I die, I would like to take a year off of everything, blow all of my life savings, and see the world. All of it. I'd like to go back-packing in Southeast Asia, ride a boat down the Nile River, train a Mongolian war pony, play around in Venice, and then meet an Irish man who owns stallions and race them.

6. I'm not a kid person. I have little patience and am inherently selfish. I am constantly learning and exploring and I don't want to stop that for anyone, let alone a child. I get incredibly frustrated when things aren't perfect the first time around.

7. I love planes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No one else seems to get that. SR-71 is my favorite, followed by the F-18 Blue Angels.

8. I think while there are many ways to live one's life, there are some things that need to remain constant: the Bro/Ho Code, manners, and basic respect for people and their things. FYI: wash dishes when you're done with them.

9. It's pretty sweet to know that no matter how bad your day is going, there is someone out there who is going to make you smile.

10. I have no balance. Seriously. I've fallen down stairs, up stairs, flat on my face, on my ass, and I run into things. Walls, doors, and I definitely body-checked a guy once.

11. The best days are the ones where you wake up and get slightly dressed up just for the hell of it.

12. I cry when I watch LOTR and hear "The Fire of Eternal Glory." Every time.

13. Little known fact: the Cult of Demeter was the basis of today's Greek life. Only women were permitted to participate in the festivities. That's right, world: sororities came first.

14. I want to go to graduate school.

15. There is nothing sexier than a man in either a suit or a uniform. Tying a man's tie is just as sexy as taking it off. Rule of thumb. Also, best suit to wear: black pinstriped.

16. I know that they are full of themselves and know that they're the hottest things ever, but Navy pilots are my kryptonite.

17. I love Hokie football, Olympic swimming, and horse racing. Equestrian sports, in general.

18. A red Corvette will be mine. Even though I want to live in the city.

19. I have recently discovered a love for jazz and am really sad I never played an instrument that is used in jazz.

20. Being able to laugh at yourself is one of the best things ever. The world is cruel and the truly ridiculous are those that find humor in it. It's fun to be silly.

21. The most intimate relationship a person can have is with oneself. The ancient Greeks at Delphi really knew what was up when they coined the phrase "Know thyself."

22. If I were to teach anything, it would be swim lessons on the side, but upper high school to lower college English. I love engineers and math-y types but I swear, reading their writing is a chore.

23. Randy Pausch's The Last Lecture should be required reading for both high school and college students. Read it and find out why.

24. I have actually gotten insulted when someone didn't know the difference between a cami and a tank top. Weirdest quirk EVER.

25. I can always promise one thing to anyone I meet: you will never be bored. I can't say I'll love you, like you, or hate you, but you will never be bored around me. I love to entertain and be entertained.

~M