One of my worst traits, aside from biting my nails and worrying about things way too much, is that I can be incredibly judgmental. I'll admit I've been working on it, sort of. You see, there are certain phenomenons that occur in nature that truly astound me.
The Whipped Man
Ladies, what in the world are we doing? I thought we were supposed to be attracted to manly men. You know, the alpha male, Type A personality, independent kind of guy. Why is it that we as women obsess over these guys and then when we finally have the luxury to become a part of their lives romantically, we somehow manage to bend them over backwards so that they'll do practically whatever we say? Is the promise of sex a factor? I highly doubt that, simply because not all relationships have sex as a factor, therefore making sex an obsolete bargaining chip. So what then causes a man to forgo drinks with his bros for a night of foot massages, candles, Enya, and a crying woman? I guess I'll never know.
Does anyone else find this phenomenon to be truly awful? There's a difference between being romantic and being whipped. A romantic offers to help, offers to pay for dinner, surprises you, etc. A whipped man starts out as a romantic but over time, he is simply thrust into situations he probably, or definitely, doesn't want to be in, simply because he fears the wrath of his girlfriend, who has been overexposed to his romance, with the inevitable consequence being he has to go another night with blue balls.
As a woman, I don't get it, so that's saying something. Every time I see a man walking a teeny tiny dog or holding a purse, I want to puke. We are in the 21st century, girls; we should be able to do this shit ourselves and still have the time to continue to be fabulous. We don't need a man to do these things. At all. There's nothing attractive about a man without a spine. They make easy targets for homewreckers: they're more than likely not happy in the relationship but lack the balls to end it. Ergo, they probably cheat with an exceptionally talented manipulator, and it all spirals out of control. Stop whipping men and take care of your own problems. Yes, the toilet is still a foreign concept for me (I can't fix it because in my world, it simply flushes and nothing bad happens) but there's Google to take care of a simple DIY.
I don't expect a man to be in my life constantly. Sure, he should get to know my friends, simply because I want to get to know his friends so that we can be comfortable with both groups. I have my own life and he has his (hopefully) and both require a lot of attention. I'd like for him to want to be a part of my life and I'd like to be a part of his, but just a part. Not the whole sha-BANG. In some cases, I have shared a lot of common interests and activities with former paramours, so it seemed as though we were together all the time. Nowadays, I'm pretty sure I'd want to go at glacial speed in allowing someone else to enter my life because he's got to be worth it and all that shit.
But I digress.
Moral of the story: being whipped is bad. Get out while you still can. Whipping men (figuratively and only if you're into that) is just off-putting. Very off-putting.
~M
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