Sloppy Seconds, Indeed

OK, it's been a while certainly. I'll just jump right in with today's observation: Ex Sex.

The question is this: is it better than in-a-relationship sex?

Now I've been in both situations with one particular individual and I have to say it is rather difficult to pinpoint the preferred sack style. The guy, we'll call him S, is himself rather skilled, particularly in the art of cunnilingus. We were considered formally dating for five months and at the conclusion of that time resorted to the mysterious realm of "fuck buddy," which is really a double whammy of modern concepts: ex sex and fuck buddy all at the same time.

And let's face it: who can really resist it? Doesn't it sound good on paper? Sex lacking in emotion seems pretty outstanding.

At first, I found it to be no different than when we were in a relationship. It was difficult at first to not want to cuddle and kiss and be a little couply afterwards, even though it was understood that there was to be as little to no emotion involved whatsoever. After a while, it became simple: fuck explosively to just get the tension out of our systems, shower, politely kiss, and depart. In this manner, at least I was able to slowly dip back into being single while still having a rather quick and easy back up plan. Perhaps that's not playing by the rules. Actually it in fact is completely breaking every rule imaginable but still very fun.

We both knew the entire thing was unhealthy and that we needed to stay away from each other, particularly in that regard. The sexual chemistry between us was far too powerful and easily accessible. If I am not mistaken, we tried at least five times to quit but really it's like your favorite drink: while many are fun and interesting, your tried and true hasn't done you wrong, except when taken in excess.

Regardless, as of this moment I cannot determine which is better. On the one hand, when you're in a relationship, the sex sort of means something. It certainly has more emotional ties, which is sort of nice. Making the act itself special seems rather contrived at this point, which leaves a pretty wretched taste in my mouth. Not every night can be prom night, so who the hell cares? Why pretend and try to make it special? That's at least the ex sex argument: it's no-strings-attached, it's fun, it's familiar, it's with someone you can now make demands from and they feel obligated, and that is also nice. It's more liberating.

Anyway, I think I've burned this subject out. I'll think I'll go over my Super Six Rules in the near future.

~M